Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why I Am Not Impressed With Stonehenge!

If you trace the history of human growth and technological development, we've certainly come a long way. Early tools were crafted for hunting, building, and carving. Soon codes were inscribed and written language became a standard. Throughout the ages, structures like the massive and precise Egyptian pyramids and the Taj Mahal were formed completely by human hand and aided by the novel concept of teamwork. Various weapons (though not always used for the best purposes) were forged out of the minerals of the ground. Telescopes and astronomical devices were invented, allowing us to look far out into the galaxies around us. The printing press allowed for mass reproduction of written text and completely changed society's literary standards. Soon steam-powered locomotives became a major method of transporting people and goods over long distances. With the rise of the Industrial Revolution, factory machines were designed to churn out products at a rapid pace. High-powered automobiles were constructed and continuously refined, making transportation quick and effortless. We mastered the skies, and today, fly millions all over the earth. We've even been to the moon and back! Then of course we exploded with the photograph, the motion picture, the telephone, and probably most importantly: the computer (a device in which we've come so far, yet barely begun to scratch the surface of its technological potential). Why...oh why then...should we pay a single bit of attention to a really old pile of rocks?!?!

I'm talking, of course, about that ancient structure known as Stonehenge. Sure, those giant boulders are heavy, and granted there were no cranes or forklifts at the time it was built. Buy hey, you could get 30 to 40 grown men to surround a bus and lift it from point A to point B if you really needed to, so the fact that some of those boulders are stacked on top of each other doesn't keep me from yawning. Do you think the crown of the Taj Mahal - which is hundreds of feet off the ground - was feather weight?

One of the biggest reasons Stonehenge has been revered is because many believe it's some sort of ancient calendar. Well that's nice. I'm sure at some point someone planned an ancient barbeque and told his friends about it. And his friends then checked with "The Henge" and responded "Sorry Bob-ocles, I've got plans the day when the south-eastern star is in the upper left formation."

Of course, you get the occasional nuts who say that Stonehenge was not a man made structure at all, but rather one formed by aliens. I have one question if that's the case: how bored were these aliens with us that they came down, looked around, played with some rocks, and bolted?? Man, we must be dull!! Could you just see the aliens returning to their planet with this news?:

"President Zimzorg, we have returned from the populated green planet bearing unfortunate news. The humans are a worthless people and their land is a fruitless one."

"I see, well did you at least mess with their rocks?"

"Of course, Mr. President."

"Well done Cody! Their confusion will last for centuries!"

So you see, we as human beings are a very blessed race, the only creatures that God has endowed with the ability to do the amazing things that we've done. The 20th century saw more growth and advancement than all other centuries and time periods put together, and the 21st is well on its way to duplicating that feat! So, why...oh why...are we still hung up on a stupid old pile of rocks?!?!?!

1 comment:

  1. Your blogs are funny, Alan. They are very John Stange-esque (www.johnstange.com) :-)